xx,xx

Past weeks has been hell running away getting drunk almost every other night.
Every waking day living in regret of stupid impulsive actions done the night before.
How Stupid really. How fucking stupid...


Are you really worth it.. why...
must I go though so much pain...

I live everyday afraid to even look at you.
Preventing my eyes from ever meeting yours..
Because each time it does, my heart.. it beats faster...
And I can do is to hide my feelings back with a smile..
I fucking wish I could, could slap myself and regret ever being in places that reminds me of you.
At the same time, nothing feels more comforting than having to see you, even if it is from afar..
It makes it even harder.
I feel broken, I wish I could disappear.



Tears, please stop rolling down my cheeks.
For I know,

I am stronger than this....